Well, as some of you might know, and some of you won't, I have not had a great week.

It started several weeks ago when I cracked my rib. Don't ask, I was being manly (read: Silly)

Anyway, knowing doctors basically do sod all for cracked ribs, I just sucked it down and took painkillers. I figured strong ones were ok since it hurt a lot.

Well, as it turns out, Codiene is addictive.

Yeah, I did already know this, but it's not something you think about much when you're in pain.

Luckily (I guess) I recognise the onset of addiction, and spotted it. Just... those random pains and headaches that crop up if you've forgotten to take the pills. the dulling of the pain, but not removal... ramping the dose to get the same effect... 

As I said, I spotted it, and have stopped taking them. It's hell, just so you know.

I feel sick and dizzy, itchy, anxious. But mostly, it's painful. Paracetamol does nothing, it doesn't even take the edge off. Alcohol just makes me feel sick and cigarettes just remind me of what I'm not taking.

I'm doing ok though, better than I was. Today it's not so bad, and as ever I can distract myself with people. Well, when I can bring myself to leave the house I can. the only thing more scary than being stuck in on my own is going out. Thanks SAD, I love you.

It's not often I feel scared or small, or fragile. It's not often I hesitate before doing things. It's not often.

Today I felt faint and nearly cracked my head open on a chest of drawers, but managed to catch myself. I'm scared now because I have to go out to a meeting and have to shower before I go. I should be ok, logically I know I'm not feeling dizzy or sick right now... but what if it comes back?

Long story short - it's getting better already. I'm doing better already.

It's still scary though.