An update, beacuse I haven't in a while.

Like I said, it's been a while.

I think our last enstallment had our hero laying in a small puddle of her own failure, unable to keep her eyes open.

I'm glad to say that things are looking up. Some of those things are even my eyes, which saw the other day returning birds. Birds! Returning! It's almost spring!  Pathetic I know, but every year I sit in my hole and look up, waiting for the birds to come back, to say it's almost spring.

Spring means sun, and sun means my SAD might actually go the FUCK away.

So this is a hopeful post. A post in which I write down and remember everything good that's happened since the last time I posted, just to remind myself that this is the heavy slog, but soon I'll be back at the top of the hill again. In the sunshine.

So, what have I done recently to make me feel proud? Happy?

I suppose I'll start where I ended last time - The Adventure. I got it written with help from the wonderful Robbie and Owen, and reffed it with Owen. It was the Pre-Banquet Bash and as such has to be many things:

Fun, Silly, "Like adventuring used to be in the good old days", high-level, accessible to non-TTers.

So, a tall order right? Well, it seemed to go well, the characters and monsters really enjoyed themselves and so I was happy. I think I got it right.

The banquet itself was good fun, if a little disheartening for my ego. I, like most other humans on the planet, do like a compliment. Just one. Any at all? Oh ok, so you're here to say I look ok, but Freya looks amazing! Gee, thanks. I'll go shoot myself. Ahem. Nah, it was fun and after an initial "Oh god I'm vile I want to shoot myself" I was eventually cheered up by the ever-lovely Jules. So, I call it a success.


Things ticked on for a while, and my energy levels have picked up. I went to Ikea, and cracked a rib in the process (It's ok, I'm well hard me. Also painkillers are my friend.) Then I started work on a new dress. It's going well. On hold until my cold cleers up, but still, going well.

I was set back over the last week by emergence of cold, but I have _made_ myself do things still. Friday we went to see Watchmen, I took the initiative and booked tickets, and felt like a proper mother :D (It was awesome, by the way) and even though I was drugged up to my eyeballs with cold remedy, I really did enjoy going somewhere and doing something with a bunch of friends.

Saturday I woke up groggy as all hell, eyes all puffy from three hours sleep, but got up and damn well went to the adventure... where I had a wonderful time!  I think Mr. Thorley summed it up well: "You're like, a real hardcore person. Sod the weather, sod the sleep, sod the damn cold; you got up and came along, and frankly, you look better for it. It's about the fun. We're having the fun, we win."

After the adventure was home, and time for D&D all night! A great session of lots of funny fun times. Sure, I was tired, but I hopped myself up on the coffee and enjoyed it.


In conclusion then, I think I found my brain. I think I found my determination. I think I found my will to live.

I can feel the ANGER, which I always get as I start to perk up out of SAD, but it'll pass in a few weeks. Until then, expect ANGRY MAN Helly. I forecast aggression and snarls until my hormones balance out. After that, expect plain sailing, maybe even some happy.

So on the whole, things are looking up. I am looking up, and I am seeing the sun more often than not; I'm seeing birds coming home, I'm seeing buds on the trees. 
The world is waking up, and you know what? I am too.